• E Young

Always Day One

Updated: Jun 10, 2020

One day at a time, if you’ve spent more than 15 minutes in a meeting house (my favorite happens to have Thorazine Green walls and is in the greatest little town in Texas) you have no doubt heard this saying. When I first came into AA I was already familiar with this saying, but not sure from where. It was probably from an old episode of Saved by the Bell or maybe Frank “Ponch” Poncherello in Chips had a drinking problem and was sent to AA. I don’t remember but it didn’t mean anything to me on my alcoholic event horizon. I think it was between 60-90 days when I started writing about what it meant to me. It went from 5 simple words that sound so good, it’s like Shell Silverstein wrote a poem about keeping self pity and anxiety out of a struggling alcoholics life. I kept unfolding the poem until it was it was a 500 page technical manual (who am I kidding I can’t pay attention long enough write that much and oh a squirrel). I can go on and on about what it means to me, what it has taught me, how I use it in my recovery, and how I use it when talking to a newcomer or someone struggling with the program.

I prefer, Always Day One, someone I look up to in the program always offers all his sober days to newcomers as long as he can keep today, and that epitomizes Always Day One to me. If you worry about what’s gonna happen tomorrow you will get unbearable anxiety. If you are scared, ashamed, or worried about things from the past you will be stressed. Anxiety to me is more dangerous to me not because of the unknown but for me I have all that time to worry and think about all the different aspects of the situation and whether or not I will make the correct decision (as if on the best day it is actually mine to make) when the time comes. Don’t get me wrong but I take a little ease in knowing even though something in the past turned into a dumpster fire of an issue and I don’t have a DeLorean time machine I cannot change it, I can only act on right here, right now. Now that doesn’t mean to not plan on going to little Susie’s birthday party next week but to not worry about whether or not you bought her the correct My Little Pony as a present. I lost the feeling of needing to drink but it is always in the back of my mind, when you drink like I did, everything reminds me of a time I was dinged up so even though that was hard to get out of my mind, the desire has left my head but it is always in the back of my mind and scares the ever loving shit out of me. I know when I stop working the steps, going to meetings, and rest on my laurels that I am no longer a slave to alcohol it is only a matter of time before I take that first drink.

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